I know the moment that things started to change. BUT I didn't realize at the time, nor the impact it would have. I was in a job that drained me, my kids never saw me, I had gained 40 lbs (seemingly overnight), the economy was in the pooper, and I was unhappy, sapped of all motivation and done. D.O.N.E.
Trapped. It's the worst it gets for a formerly creative, happy, talk-fast, walk-fast kinda girl. Have you ever been there before? It's lonely. And I got there tiny step by tiny step, so when I arrived at that terrible destination... I almost could not construct the journey it took to get there, and I was confused how I had let this happen.
Then, I made a BIG CHANGE. I took the leap. A leap that could have sent my professional and personal life into a tailspin. I. QUIT. MY. JOB.
It felt selfish and desperate at the time. Mostly selfish, because having survived many rounds of layoffs, walking away almost seemed unreasonable. How could I NOT WANT my job, while so many others, dear friends of mine, were searching, networking, and very anxious about their futures.
I finally got the courage to do what I had forgot I have always done when at my very best ... zag while others zigged. It scared the crap out of my friends and family, and mostly out of me. But big change require big changes. And this one was going to count.
This was over a year ago. And what I was doing at the time did not feel inspired and I did not intend to start this world of self discovery I now live in. AND no, my job wasn't the real problem, it was just what was keeping me from the solution.
My AH-HA (thank God!) moment happened a few weeks ago at a women's conference. I found myself in the audience listening to women like Rhonda Britten, Ami Brown and Jillian Michaels speak about the fear that holds us back, the sense of responsibility we have to others that make us continue to put ourselves last on the priority list. And I sat there, and tears streamed down my face, thinking OMG, this is ME. I knew was there for a reason, and I took it all in. And this new beginning, an inspired, relaxed, confident, focused vision was born.
But wait---So what's with this blog anyway??? And I know what you are thinking, oh my God, does Amy expect me to read a blog about her...I mean who is she, and who cares?! Seriously, I totally agree.
Here it is--I have a wind at my back since my ah-ha moment, it feels like a gift, it's telling me to change my life. And here is where you come in, I want to share with you the confidence, power, and self respect I have recaptured. RECAPTURED. And if you leave today inspired or motivated to spark the BIG change you need to make in YOUR life, I am here. To cheer you on, provide some ramblings, and be the friend for you that I wish I would have known I needed to start the rest of my life.
An inspired life. One that means something. Following my dreams. Taking some chances. And it makes me happy knowing that going forward I will ONLY regret what I have done, not what I have been to SCARED to do.
So if you were waiting for it, here it is. This is THE SIGN you have been waiting for. Jump. And take a running start before you do. You know you have it in you. I believe in you. And I believe in me now too.
